Hippies to Hollywood (with some more giants): speeding down the Californian Coast

There are some myths about the Californian coast, which I"m going to do my best to expel in this blog (Please note, more seasoned travellers and more humorous writers than I have probably already debunked these myths, but it was all a surprise to the Photgrapher and I, so I thought I'd share them.)

1) San Francisco is the best city in the world

The Photographer and I spent some considerable time debating this question. We've been to NYC, Sydney, Cape Town, Edinburgh, Rome, Melbourne, London, Paris, and of course the ever fantastic Manchester, and we decided on night two in SF that we rated all these above SF. We were promised quaint beauty at Fisherman's Wharf, but found a tackier version of Blackpool; the throbbing energy we expected in the area around Union Square carried an undertone of sinister danger in all the hooded characters lurking in the alleyways; and don't get me started on the city's answer to Central Park. The Golden Gate park is a) misleadingly far away from its namesake, and b) crap. South Park in Macclesfield is better (a park should have two or more of the following: swings, mini golf, a tennis court, a lake and a rickety obstacle course, Macc has all of these, GGP has one!). This said, the twin attractions of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate bridge cannot be exaggerated. We cycled over Golden Gate Bridge, as terrifying an experience as I have ever had on a bike, trying to negotiate the dual obstacles of the wind and daft pedestrians was quite exhilarating!

On day three we decided to bin our two guidebooks and look out our emails of countless recommendations from friends who had visited or lived here. And the same names kept coming up: Mission, North Beach, Castro. Off we set, and we found it, that thing which makes puts SF in contention for the highly rated Travel Sic Best City award. These areas are the city's beating heart: culture, music, food, history, books, art and above all, the people who moved here over the last hundred years and made this amazing place the melting pot that it is. Stand at the famous City Lights book store (which is, by the way, officially the Tavel Sic Best Bookshop in the World), and you feel like you're at some kind of metaphorical SF crossroads: China town to your left, North Beach and Little Italy behind you, the financial district in front of you, and the long, seedy road back to Fisherman's Wharf and tourist central to your right. And all these different elements of the City come together every Friday at the AT&T stadium to watch the Giants. I won't bore you with the ins and outs of baseball (mostly because even after reading about it and spending hours watching it, they are still a mystery to me) but what I will say is the culture of the baseball stadium is lovely. On our way in we were told that if this was our first time we could qualify for a certificate! Imagine, not been shouted at for being a game tourist, a glory hunter or a member of the prawn sandwich brigade, imagine actually having your ignorance celebrated. But perhaps my most favourite thing of all is the 7th Inning Stretch, where, after six innings of not a whole lot of action, everyone is encouraged to spontaneously stand and stretch to some music. And everyone does! Ever seen 22,000 people stretch simultaneously? It's hilarious!!

Travel Sic best bookshop in the world! Home of the 'Beat' movement

AT&T stadium. A boat sits in the harbour waiting to film balls which get hit into the water! 

(Like I said, not much action in baseball!)

2) Monterey: playground of the rich, with beautiful views and a great aquarium for the plebs

Well, the middle one may be true, but the Monterey peninsular is also shrouded in fog the majority of the year, so not many people get a chance to find that out! What I will say is that the peninsular in fog, is in itself, a quite remarkable site. It seems even more rugged and wild, and if I was writing a guidebook I'd put 'See the 17 mile drive in fog' as a top tip, just so that everyone who is lucky enough to do it in sun feels like they are missing out!

Monterey, misty but wonderful

We found out another cool thing about Monterey: it loves its jazz! Every year it holds the world's longest running jazz festival, where world famous jazz legends perform, along with new local talent. As a result of this regional enthusiasm some pretty special school bands have grown up in the area, and every year the jazz festival pays for professionals to go round the schools, pick the most promising musical kids and train them up all summer, to perform at the festival. This has led to a real respect within the local community for jazz and the institution of the festival.

And the jazz festival itself... imagine a music festival with less overcrowding, flushing loos, no drunken people and recycling, sound like a more pleasant experience? Well it is! This music festival actually hires someone to stand by the nine different bins and explain which one you should use. A festival with a conscience. And the music is mind blowing (although towards the end of the headline set The Photographer leaned in and asked me whether they had finished tuning up yet). Monterey impressed us so much we didn't even have chance to make it to the infamous aquarium, we'll have to go back!



3) Big Sur is the best drive in the world

As far as I can tell there are only three types of Big Sur fans: hippies, elephant seals and guide book writers. Enough said.

Big Sur loved by hippies and seals alike

4) Hollywood is glamorous

'One thing I will say is don't touch the ground in Hollywood' our tour guide said as we stepped off the bus. I can understand why. In comparison with the incredibly rich districts of Bel Air, Beverley Hills, Malibu, and Loz Felis, Hollywood is manky. Everything looks faded, tatty, knackered. Even the palm trees which line the side of the road are worryingly malnourished, And there is a weird fascination with human failure. We had pointed out to us the places of Mel Gibson and George Michael's arrests; River Phoenix and John Belushi's deaths; Kelly Osbourne's drug indiscretions, and even, gleefully, that the historic Kodak theatre, home of the Oscars, had been renamed the Dolby theatre because Kodak had gone into administration. Yay, now I feel really good about the world.

LA: lovely smog!

And LA itself is a weird place. The best way I can demonstrate this is to say that no one normal lives there. You know, no one with a normal job, or children they take to school, or normal hobbies. Everyone is for show. In Malibu fifty odd surfers gather every day, but not to surf. The Malibu sea is too calm. They just put on wetsuits and sit in the sea. Weird. We even saw a homeless man who, instead of a dog, had two bright parrots. Only in LA.

But what if I told you that 7 miles south of Malibu is a spot, so scenic that Baywatch was filmed there, so historic that one of the oldest Californian piers is still there, but so old school that its Downtown Main Street only has independent shops and restaurants? It's true. This place is Santa Monica, slightly set apart from the craziness of LA, and a really nice, and comparably normal place.



So, coastal California, full of well known preconceptions, which I have just inarticulately debunked. But also full of hidden treasures: the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra who give free performances; bubble gum ally in San Luis Opisbo; the crazy and amazing Museum of Slot Machines at Fisherman's Wharf; everything in quaint Santa Barbara; and Clint Eastwood's bass playing son - a veteran of the jazz festival. Now that is celebrity. Oh, and one other thing, they make all their bread with egg in California. Weird!

Ghosts and Giants but no Bears: California's Sierra Nevada National Parks

 In a rare poetic moment the Photographer described Yosemite National Park as the leftover scene of a giant's battle: 'Look, where they threw Half Dome.' It does feel a bit like that, it has an enormous quality which is almost too big to grasp, both because it is so old and because it is so huge.

The awe inspiring qualities of California's National Parks are well documented, and that is why they are so damn busy! Here are my tips to enjoying the parks without the crowds:


1) Choose a campsite which has recently suffered from a major health scare and bad press on an international scale.

We stayed at Camp Curry, which is very concerned with your well being when it comes to bears. Thus you have to lock all your smelly possessions, including empty water bottles and razors (who knew, bears shaved!) in a bear box outside your tent. The bear box has tiny holes, just small enough for a mouse to get in and do a poo. Mice poo carries hantavirus, perhaps a disease some of you may have come across recently on the news. A disease which killed four travellers who stayed at Camp Curry a month ago. We didn't see a single bear in Yosemite, and in Canada, where there are definitely bears (I know, I saw them), the boot of the car was perfectly adequate for smelly goods. Whilst at Camp Curry we overheard two girls (also from Yorkshire, that's how we could understand them) say that all the food from their bear box had been eaten by mice, and ask if it was ok to use their toiletries. Oh yes, they were told, which is contrary to all health advice. One has to wonder if perhaps Camp Curry are worrying about the wrong furry animals.

That said, Camp Curry is very efficient and well oiled machine. Fatal diseases aside, our tent was lovely; the food requirements of over 500 accommodations are more than adequately met by the pizzeria, coffee shop, grill and buffet; and the showers were always clean. You also can't put a price on the location of Curry, it's in the heart of the valley, in the shadow of Half Dome. Every evening as we were walking to tea we saw the Dome change from white to pink as the sun set, and every morning, on the way to the shower, we caught the curtain of dusk lifting slowly across the valley as the sun rose and coated everything in orange light. It was like watching a picture being coloured in.

Half Dome in half light

2) Don't be afraid of early mornings and hard work

Amongst the best sites in Yosemite are its waterfalls. Arriving after a dry summer meant most of these were dry, and those which still had some power, were busy. We got up very early (no real chore when you have that view waiting) and walked up to Vernal Falls, it's steep, but we were at the top by 9.30, in time to watch the sun bathe the valley below in glorious light. And we were the only people there. From Vernal it is possible to climb higher to another waterfall, (Nevada) giving even more impressive views. We were there by 11, beating the crowds, and almost beating the California sun.

And the early start and steep hike was worth it: the waterfalls were far more impressive than the more famous Bridal falls - which allegedly doesn't dry up. From my vantage point, at the bottom of this fall two days later, I saw a bit of spray come over the top and could almost feel the waterfall's embarrassed blushes beating off the dry red rocks at the bottom: the spray didn't even make it half way down! However, after our experiences with rain earlier in the trip, the Photographer and I weren't complaining about the lack of water in Yosemite!

Views worth a hike

We also visited Glacier point, for amazing valley views of Half Done, and any flowing waterfalls. We fled after four coach parties arrived and climbed nearby Sentinel Hill, this steep mile climb gives 360 degree views of the whole of Yosemite, and again, leaves the thong wearing, hd video camera toting masses behind.

3) Visit other parks

Yosemite is not the only park, Kings Canyon and Sequoia Parks (one fee for both) are outstandingly beautiful and considerably less crowded. Grant Grove, in King's Canyon is one of the most stunningly located campsites that we have ever encountered. The rustic (Lonely Planet describes them as decrepit!) log cabins are surrounded by huge sequoia trees, which stretch heavenwards, only stopping to let the stars in. Being within arms length of a family of mule deers on the way to the shower block the next day was also a real highlight. My advice: stay long enough to see General Grant tree, the third largest tree in the world, by this point, if you are anything like the Photographer, even Bambi himself will not be enough to make the coin operated showers worth it!

4) Leave Yosemite

Outside Yosemite, at the end of the Tioga Pass, is a an area called the Mono Basin, which calls itself the gateway to Yosemite. We wondered if Yosemite should consider calling itself the gateway to Mono! Mono Lake is worth at least a look, it has unusually high sodium levels which result in the growth of huge salt pillars called tufas. Combine these eerie columns with a clinging smell of sulphur (eggy farts) and swarms of black flies and you have a rather biblical picture. The lake itself is deadly still. If this isn't ghostly enough, head up the road to Bodie, an old gold town. Bodie was a thriving (if somewhat dangerous) town at the end of the 1800s, but as the gold dried up and two big fires destroyed many buildings the community started to dissipate and by the 1930s, everyone had upped and left, literally, leaving unwashed crockery, unmade beds, newspapers, cars, fire engines and school books. The baking California sun radiated off the rickety wooden buildings, and you could close your eyes and almost hear the cries of a bustling town: poker games at the Old Hotel, children in the school yard, the fire bell ringing and the clink of the machinery at the mine. Bodie is a fantastic way of spending an afternoon, and if you think there is nothing better than the view of a Half Dome  and El Capitan from tunnel view the first time you enter Yosemite, try rediscovering that view four days later when you renter the park after a day in a ghost town. Then the crowds don't seem like a curse, they are a glorious reminder of the noise of real people!

'John Wayne slept here'

48 hours after arriving in the US, we sat down for a tasty tea of moo shi (a random fusion of Chinese and CaliMexican: stir fry in burrito, wrong on so many levels, but surprisingly tasty!) and reflected on an action packed 2 days which included a piano off, flash floods and a brush with stardom.

We flew into Vegas first and stayed at Bill's Gamblin Hall and Saloon, on the strip, for no other reason than it was cheap and came recommended by our trusty Lonely Planet. It's huge 'retro' (read knackered!) rooms were more than adequate. After sleeping off our jetlag whilst the city that never sleeps partied four stories below us, we were up early to fly to the Grand Canyon. Our tour (with Maverick Tours) was by helicopter. Needless today, the Photographer was beside herself with glee, whilst I was terrified and had to self medicate with several different sickness remedies. I needn't have worried, helicopter flying really does feel like real broomstick flying. None of this tearing jerkily down a runway and hoping for the best business, just a slight dip forward as we rose into the air, and then floated over the desert towards the canyon, taking in Hoover Damn, and following the Colorado River until it magically changed red to indicate that we had reached our destination. It was 10am, at one of the most natural beauties in the world, and I spotted at least 12 other helicopters, at times our landing spot was busier than Manchester airport, does Arizona need to think about limiting tours to this area?

The Colorado River snakes through the desert

We were chased back to the airstrip by imposing clouds, and when we landed we could feel the temperature had dropped, but this was the desert right? I know NYC, Croatia, Slovenia, Cornwall and Sydney are all destinations that have succumbed to apocalyptic weather during our holidays, but surely we'd be ok in Las Vegas, a city that sees over 300 days of sun a year? As we explored the strip, large drops started to fall, and in the time that it took to duck into The Venetian and establish that the indoor Vegas gondoliers are a poor substitute for the real thing, the strip began to flood. We held out as long as we could, and then ran across a footbridge, to find that the escalator had shorted in the rain (serves them right for having outdoor escalatorsm surelattracts just lazy!) and the sidewalk had flooded. It took 2 hours to make the three block return to Bill's, and involved wading through water in the sidewalk and road that was over knee deep.

Flooding on the strip

After drying off we took an umbrella and headed south down the strip to New York, New York, which, unlike the gondoliers, is brilliant! Every effort has been made to Vegas-ify all the wonderful things about the Big Apple: huge replica landmarks and a mini broadway, and the Times Square Bar, which boasts the famous 'Dueling Pianos' - 6 solid hours of two pianists enthusiastically playing any requests from the audience. The most impressive whilst we were where was 'money' by Pink Floyd.

Oh, and we also gambled. What is the point in that? It took the Photographer and I 35 minutes to figure out how to use a slot machine and 35 seconds to loose all our night's allotted spends (about 3 dollars!)

The next we left poor flooded Vegas behind and headed to Death Valley, safe in the knowledge that this was one of the hottest and most unforgiving areas in the world, and we would probably not be in any danger of flooding. Death Valley is so hot (well over 40*C whilst we were there) because it is very low (Badwater flats are the lowest point in the US) and is surrounded by mountains, so the hot air rises but never escapes. With all this heat and arid land, the valley can be a very unforgiving landscape, but it is saved by it's incredible array of colours. In one tremendous drive (called Artists Drive, do it, Death Valley is much better viewed for then air conditioned safety of a car) we saw mountains turn vibrant reds and oranges, murky browns, brilliant white, and even a sort of sapphire blue. We also escaped from the heat into a little museum which explains the history of the valley, including its importance as an area which could mine the mineral Borax. Mule teams of 20 horses used to pull the Borax to the nearest railway line. Given that by the end of the day we were driving from the restaurant at one of end of a building to the toilets at another to escape the heat on the 30 second walk, I have full sympathy with the horses. Apparently the horses used to carry bells, and if they encountered difficulties the rescue team took away their bells, this is where they phrase 'I'll be there with bells on' comes from, it means I'll manage by myself. And that folks, is a fact!

Jumping on Badwater, the lowest point in the US

The stunning scenery of Death Valley behind us we drove into Lone Pine, a small settlement near Mount Whitney which has a claim to fame. In the1920s film makers realised that the surrounding mountains were the perfect backdrop for western films,and quite an industry grew in this area. We stayed at Dow Villa Hotel, which was built in 1922 and seems to have accommodated quite a few stars: a hand written sign declared that John Wayne had slept here. The hotel was great, and the nearby restaurant 'the Merry-go-Round', with it's Chinese-Cali fusion is outstanding. The wood clad buildings of Lone Pine, and the panoramic mountains look like something straight from the 1920s, the sort of scene that I'd assume has been photoshopped, or just doesn't exist anymore. I came to California to see the surf, sea and Sequoias, I had no idea hidden gems like this existed.

Lone Pine - hidden gem